If you’re wondering how to plan an elopement with your family, you’ve come to the right place! An elopement doesn’t have to mean leaving your loved ones behind, and it certainly doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice what matters most to you, or follow any set traditions.
As an adventure elopement photographer, I’ve had many couples ask how they can bring family into their intimate day—whether it’s having them there to witness the magic, or finding creative ways to celebrate with them even if they’re not physically present.
In this guide, I’ll walk you through how you can make your elopement feel special with family involved, no matter where they are. Remember, the choice to include family is completely up to you—there are no rules, just your own vision for your day.
How to Plan an Elopement With Family
Here are my pro tips on how to plan an elopement with your family:
Talk with your family about how you want your elopement to look like
When you sit down with your family to discuss your elopement, it’s likely that some may have their own thoughts, suggestions, or even concerns about how you’re planning to celebrate. If this happens, it’s important for you and your partner to gently reaffirm your vision for the day and explain how you want your elopement to feel.
This is also a great opportunity to share how they can be involved, whether that’s helping with certain details or finding ways to celebrate together after the big day. Keeping the lines of communication open will help ensure everyone feels included, even if your elopement is more intimate than a traditional wedding.
Deciding Who to Invite to Your Elopement
When it comes to choosing who to invite to your elopement, it’s all about what feels right for you and your partner. Start by thinking about the people who truly support your relationship and who would respect the intimacy of your day. While you might feel pressure to invite extended family or friends out of obligation, this day is ultimately about you two, so prioritize those who will add to the experience rather than distract from it. Consider whether you want an ultra-private ceremony with just the two of you, or if there’s a small group of family and friends who would make the moment even more special. It’s your day—so choose the people who make you feel the most loved, supported, and at ease.
Ways to Include Your Family in Your Elopement
There are endless ways to include your family in your elopement – whether they are right there beside you or celebrating with you from afar. Here are some different ways that you can include your family in your elopement:
For family members that will be present at your elopement:
1. Writing Personal Vows or Blessings If you’ve decided to include family or friends in your ceremony, ask them to share a reading, a personal vow, or a blessing. This could be a heartfelt speech, a favorite quote, or something meaningful that reflects your relationship. It’s a beautiful way for loved ones to directly contribute to the ceremony without overshadowing the intimacy.
2. Being Your Witnesses Even if you’re not having a large ceremony, having close friends or family members act as official witnesses can make the moment feel even more significant. They’re there to support you, and their presence will be part of your legal ceremony—something special to remember.
3. Creating a Ritual or Tradition You can incorporate a unique ritual that involves friends or family, such as a handfasting, lighting a unity candle, or passing around a ceremonial object that each person touches or adds something to. This adds a personal and symbolic touch to the ceremony and makes them feel like active participants in the celebration.
4. Providing Music If there’s someone in your family or circle of friends who’s musically inclined, you could ask them to play a song or sing during the ceremony. Live music can elevate the experience and give the day a really personal, unforgettable vibe.
5. Reading a Letter or Sharing a Toast If you’re not having a large reception afterward, consider having a few close friends or family members write letters or prepare toasts that are read aloud at the ceremony. This could also be done afterward at a small post-elopement gathering to celebrate the day.
6. Helping with Logistics or Setting Up If you’ve planned a scenic location that requires a bit of extra effort to get to, family and friends can help with the setup—whether that’s making sure the ceremony area is ready, bringing snacks or drinks, or keeping the timeline on track. Even though it’s an elopement, a little bit of help can go a long way in creating a smooth day.
7. Post-Elopement Celebration If your ceremony is small, but you still want a larger celebration afterward, friends and family can help organize a low-key reception or dinner to celebrate your union. Whether it’s a casual gathering or a more formal dinner, having loved ones there to toast to your new life together can make it feel like a bigger celebration without compromising the intimacy of the elopement.
Incorporating your friends and family into your elopement day doesn’t have to follow traditional wedding norms. It’s about finding ways for them to feel included while still honoring the private, meaningful nature of your celebration.
If your elopement is just going to be the two of you
If you’ve chosen to elope with just the two of you, but still want to include family and friends in a meaningful way, there are plenty of thoughtful options to consider. It’s all about finding ways for them to feel connected to your celebration, even from a distance. Here are some ideas to make sure your loved ones are still part of your special day.
1. Share Your Elopement Story with Them Afterward One of the simplest and most personal ways to include family and friends is by sharing the experience with them afterward. Whether it’s through a beautifully written letter, a custom-designed photo album, or a video recap of your elopement, you can give them a glimpse into your day, sharing the emotions, the special moments, and the memories that made it so unique. This is a great way for them to feel like they were with you, even if they weren’t physically there.
2. Include Them in the Vows If you’ve decided on private vows, consider incorporating a special message for your family and friends within them. You could mention how important they are to your relationship and how you’re honoring their presence in spirit. For example, you might say, “Even though our families aren’t here today, we carry their love and support with us in this moment.” It’s a meaningful way to acknowledge their influence and the role they’ve played in your journey.
3. Send Photos or Videos in Real-Time One great way to make your loved ones feel like they’re right there with you is to share moments from your day in real-time. Whether it’s through a group chat or a private social media account, sending photos or short video clips during the ceremony or at key moments will allow family and friends to experience parts of your day as they happen.
4. Have Them Write Letters or Create Messages Before the elopement, you can ask close friends or family members to write you a letter or record a video message to be opened or watched on the day of your elopement. You could have a moment during the day where you read those messages privately, or even share them with each other after the ceremony as part of your celebration.
5. Virtual Ceremony for Loved Ones If you’re not inviting anyone to your ceremony but still want to have family and friends witness your vows, consider streaming the event. You can set up a live stream or a Zoom call, so your loved ones can be there virtually. It’s a great way to make them feel included without having to compromise the intimate feel of your elopement.
6. Host a Post-Elopement Celebration After the elopement, plan a small celebration or gathering to share your joy with the people who matter most. Whether it’s an intimate dinner at a local restaurant or a more casual barbecue at home, this allows you to celebrate with them without having to make your elopement day bigger than you want. You can show them the photos, tell the story of your elopement, and even have a toast in your honor.
7. Ask Them to Create a Playlist for Your Elopement If you have a particular group of people you want to honor, ask them to contribute songs to a special playlist. You can play it during your elopement as you get ready, during a post-elopement dinner, or even at a celebratory event afterward. Hearing familiar voices in the music can make your day feel more connected to your loved ones.
Even though you’ve chosen to make your elopement a private, intimate day just for the two of you, there are still plenty of ways to involve the people you love. The key is to get creative and find ways to make them feel connected, whether it’s through virtual participation, personal messages, or celebrations after the fact. The important part is that you’re honoring your relationship with them, even if they’re not there in person.
The Best of Both Worlds: A Multi-Day Elopement
If you’re looking for a way to have the best of both worlds, a multi-day elopement might be just what you need. You could dedicate the first day to an intimate, intentional celebration focused entirely on you and your partner—think private vows, a breathtaking adventure, or a quiet, meaningful ceremony in a location that’s special to you both.
On the second day, you can open up the celebration to include your family. Plan a relaxed gathering or small ceremony where you can share the joy of your commitment with the people who matter most. This way, you get that deeply personal elopement experience, while also creating space for a celebration with loved ones.
Alternatively, you could have a private vow exchange just the two of you, and then host a larger ceremony or celebration with your family afterward. This way, you still get the intimacy of your elopement while having an opportunity to include those who couldn’t be there the first time around.
Ready to Plan Your Elopement With Your Family?
I hope you found this guide on how to plan an elopement with family helpful. In case no one has told you yet, your elopement gets to look however you want. You can be present and in the moment with just your partner, or you can have your family be as involved as you like. You are the one who gets to make the rules when it comes to your dream elopement!
And…if you’re still looking for the perfect elopement photographer, I’m here to capture every moment of your adventure elopement with a whole lot of heart. You can contact me here or learn more about my elopement services here.
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