One of the top questions I get asked by couples is, “How can I write personal wedding or elopement vows?” Well, I’m here to answer that very question.
As a wedding and elopement photographer, I’ve had the honor of capturing countless couples exchanging their vows. Along the way, I’ve picked up a few insights on how to create vows that are authentic to you—words that truly reflect your relationship and that you’ll feel confident sharing. The good news is, you don’t need to be a poet or wordsmith to craft vows that come straight from the heart.
Here’s exactly how to write wedding and elopement vows that feel natural (and might make your partner melt).
What to Include in Your Vows
While you could take your vows in many different directions, here are a few of my favorite inclusions. Pick one (or even a few!) that feel the most like you.
Relationship-Defining Memories
First, one of the easiest ways to write elopement vows is to mention relationship-defining memories. Memories like this can be personal and meaningful!
Some examples:
- A trip that you both took and loved (maybe even your first trip!)
- The first time you met
- Any daily interactions that define your relationship today
Anything that reminds you of your journey to get here can go so long in your vows because these stories will ground your memories in an authentic experience. Reliving these memories through vows and mentioning them on your wedding or elopement day will strengthen your connection, highlighting your love story so far.
Promises for the Future
Including promises for the future can be a strong way to start the foundation for your marriage because it will show that you are excited to grow together through the years. This can also be a great time to mention any shared goals you both have that you want to work towards making happen.
Maybe you both dream of going on a romantic Iceland road trip, adopting a dog together, or even flipping a house into your dream renovation. Paint the picture with your words!
Some of the most personal vows talk about your love story so far and mention where you’re both headed.
Quotes or Lyrics
This one is for my music or literature fans! Many couples love to choose a song as their song. You know the one – maybe it was the song you both had your first dance to or when you both realized you were in love. Maybe it’s even a song that just reminds you of your partner.
Quoting a lyric from that song can be a great personal touch, especially if it speaks to you and your relationship.
Alternatively, if you’re a huge reader, maybe there’s a book you’ve read with a quote that genuinely helps put into words what you can. Even though you’re using someone else’s words, it can feel personal because you can use the quote as a starting point and then continue to build on it with your own words.
Nicknames
Do you and your partner have any nicknames for one another? You can put them in your wedding or elopement vows, even if it’s subtle! This can be a way to easily add a playful touch, especially if your relationship is fun and lighthearted.
Calling your partner by their nickname in a moment as meaningful as your vows can solidify your connection, reminding your partner of the closeness you both share.
The Moment You Knew You Were in Love
I bet there’s one moment that stands out for you as the moment when you realized you were in love with your partner. Your vows are the perfect time to share that, especially if your partner may not know the moment.
The moment is one of the most defining times of your love story, even if it is something completely unexpected or more of a quiet realization. Plus, it’s a great way to add heartfelt nostalgia to your vows.
Reasons You Love Your Partner
When in doubt, include some reasons why you adore your partner! These are always fun because they can be more hilarious or heartfelt. They might even be just your average everyday moments, like singing the wrong song lyrics in the car.
Sharing what you love about your partner makes your vows incredibly personal. It lets your partner know how much you see and value them exactly as they are.
Inside Jokes
Last but not least, if you have any inside jokes, add them to your vows. Inside jokes add a personal touch because they are something only you will know about.
These moments of humor can also bring a good laugh to vows. It could be anything from a silly phrase one of you says or even a funny mishap that easily became a core memory for the both of you!
How to Start Writing Your Vows
It can be hard to sit down and start writing your vows, but it doesn’t have to be! To start, I recommend jotting down some notes of what you might want to say. It can be a lot easier to start with some reflection time. Try to find time to sit down without distraction, reminisce, and think about your love story.
Remember, it’s okay to have multiple drafts. Be sure to start with an introduction and use all of the ideas above if you get stuck.
Here are a few questions to get you started:
- What do you remember about the first time you met?
- What are some of your favorite memories?
- What challenges have you both faced?
- What are three things you love about your partner?
- How do you want to show up for your partner throughout life’s ups and downs?
Once you have your notes, you can start to shape them into vows that feel natural to you. You could even try to look for themes that tie everything you’ve written together. Remember that at the end of this, the goal isn’t to have “perfect” vows. Instead, you want vows that feel like you. If they come from the heart, your partner will love them!
My #1 Tip for Elopement Vows
While there are many tips I could share about writing wedding or elopement vows, my #1 tip is to practice saying them before your day.
Reading your vows aloud will help you hear how they flow. You’ll be able to catch any phrasing that might sound awkward and make sure they sound natural to you when you’re speaking. This will allow you to do any editing to make sure they sound more like you.
There’s a reason we were always told to say our essays out loud while we were editing in high school. It really works.
Plus, saying your vows out loud and practicing helps calm your nerves if you are nervous. Because of the practice, you won’t feel like you’re stumbling through saying them on your day and instead will be able to stay in the moment and say them with confidence, focusing on what’s happening with your partner and feeling the words you are saying.
I Hope You Enjoyed this Vow Writing Guide!
Writing your vows is one of the most personal parts of your day, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. No matter what you choose to include in your vows, what matters most is that your vows truly feel authentic and representative of you.
Be sure to take your time and speak from the heart. Don’t stress about making them perfect. Always remember that what matters most is that they are yours. By default, they are going to feel personalized! No matter what you say, your partner will cherish every word because it’s true to your specific love story, which isn’t like any other.
Psst—if you’re reading this and you don’t have a photographer yet, I’d love to chat. If you’re ready to experience just how fun and heartfelt your wedding day can be, fill out the form here to get started. Let’s create an unforgettable day.
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