One of the questions I get asked most often is, “Should we do a first look?”
My answer is almost always the same: there isn’t a right or wrong choice. Some couples love the tradition of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony, while others can’t imagine waiting all day.
After photographing hundreds of weddings and elopements over the past 15 years, I’ve found that the best choice is simply the one that feels the most like you.
That being said… I am a big fan of first looks, and here’s why.
What Is a First Look?
A first look is a private moment before your ceremony where you and your partner see each other for the first time.
Usually it’s just the two of you (plus me quietly documenting from a distance). There’s no audience, no guests watching, and no pressure. It’s simply a chance to take a deep breath together before the rest of the day unfolds.
For some couples, it’s emotional. For others, it’s full of laughter. I’ve even had couples exchange gifts, read private vows, or simply hug each other for a few minutes before heading to the ceremony.
No two first looks ever feel exactly the same.
Why I Recommend a First Look
One of the biggest reasons I recommend a first look has nothing to do with photography.
It gives you time together.
Wedding days move quickly. Once the ceremony begins, you’re greeting guests, hugging family, and moving from one part of the day to the next. A first look creates a quiet moment where you can simply be present with each other before everything starts.
I’ve noticed that many couples seem noticeably more relaxed afterward. The nerves settle, they remember to breathe, and the rest of the day feels a little less overwhelming.
You’ll Actually Get to Enjoy Cocktail Hour
This is one of the most practical reasons to consider a first look.
Because you’ve already seen each other, we can usually take your couple’s portraits, wedding party photos, and many family photos before the ceremony.
That means after the ceremony, you’re free to join cocktail hour instead of disappearing for an hour of portraits.
One thing I’ve learned after photographing so many weddings is that couples almost never say,
“I wish we had spent less time with our guests.”
They usually wish they had more time to enjoy the people they invited.
A First Look Doesn’t Take Away From the Ceremony
This is probably the biggest concern I hear.
Many couples worry that seeing each other before the ceremony will make walking down the aisle feel less emotional.
In my experience, that almost never happens.
The first look and the ceremony are completely different moments.
During your first look, you’re focused on each other.
During your ceremony, you’re surrounded by your favorite people, exchanging vows, becoming married, and experiencing all of the emotions that come with that moment.
I’ve watched countless couples cry during both.
Are There Reasons to Skip a First Look?
Absolutely.
If you’ve always dreamed about seeing each other for the first time as you walk down the aisle, that’s reason enough.
Your wedding isn’t about checking boxes or creating the “perfect” timeline. It’s about creating a day that feels meaningful to the two of you.
Some couples also choose to do a first touch instead, where they hold hands around a corner or exchange letters without actually seeing each other.
There are so many ways to create an intentional moment before the ceremony.
Should You Have a First Look?
If your biggest priority is spending as much time together as possible and creating a relaxed timeline, I think a first look is absolutely worth considering.
If you’ve always imagined seeing each other for the first time during the ceremony, that’s a beautiful choice too.
There isn’t one right way to do it.
The best decision is the one that feels the most like you.
Planning a Wedding That Feels Like You
Whether you decide to do a first look or wait until the ceremony, my goal is always the same: to help create a wedding day that feels relaxed, intentional, and completely authentic to who you are.
If you’re looking for more planning inspiration, you might also enjoy my guides on planning an elopement with family, how to create a relaxed wedding timeline, and working with me as your wedding photographer.
